I Went to the Bahamas for the Weekend and Ate My Way Through It

This was my third time in the Bahamas, and by now I've figured out exactly what I want from this trip.

No excursions. No packed itinerary. No 7 a.m. wake up call for a boat I have to be at the dock for. This time I went for two things only: to relax, and to eat.

Mission accomplished on both.

SLS Baha Mar: You Genuinely Never Have to Leave

Let me start with the hotel, because the hotel is the trip.

I stayed at SLS Baha Mar, and when I tell you it was AMAZING, I need you to understand I'm not being casual with that word. This place offers everything you could possibly imagine, and then a few things you wouldn't have thought to imagine.

• Several pools, not one pool with a lot of chairs. Several.

• The beach, right there.

• A water park

• A casino

• Pool parties

• A lobby party on Friday and Saturday evenings, which became one of my favorite parts of the whole weekend. You don't have to plan for it or go anywhere. You just walk through and there it is.

There is genuinely no reason to leave Baha Mar. Everything is on property. You could land, check in, and never touch the outside world until your flight home, and you'd still come back saying you had an incredible trip.

Let's Talk About the $375

Here's the number people get sticker shock over, so let me explain it properly.

$375 is the starting price for a beach chair. But it isn't a fee you hand over and never see again. It goes toward your consumption, meaning food and drinks throughout the day. So you're not paying $375 for a chair. You're paying $375 for a day, and the chair comes with it.

Cabanas are priced separately and run differently, so if that's what you're after, look into it before you go rather than deciding at the pool.

Was it worth it? YES.

Pool at SLS

The Breakfast Buffet Deserves Its Own Section

I did not expect to be this enthusiastic about a hotel breakfast, and yet here we are.

The buffet at Baha Mar offers everything. Whatever your version of a perfect breakfast is, it's on that spread somewhere. And they make fresh omelettes on demand, cooked right in front of you exactly how you want them.

Starting every morning like that set the entire tone for the day. It's the kind of thing that sounds like a small detail until you're on your third morning realizing you've been genuinely excited to wake up.

The Food, Which Was Honestly the Whole Point

The Fish Fry

Even with all of that on property, I wasn't going to spend a weekend in the Bahamas without eating actual Bahamian food.

I went to the Fish Fry and got fried conch, and it was really, really good. This is the food you came for. Not the resort version of it, the real thing, made by people who have been making it their entire lives.

Oh Andros Restaurant

One important note: carry cash. The local spots do not take credit cards. Not "prefer cash," not "card minimum." Cash. Show up with card only and you will be standing there watching other people eat conch.

Paranza at Atlantis

I made the trip over to Atlantis specifically to eat at Paranza, their Italian restaurant, and it was delicious. Worth crossing the island for, which is not something I say lightly about a hotel restaurant.

Carna at Baha Mar

And back on property, Carna, the steakhouse at Baha Mar, was excellent. It is pricey. I'm not going to pretend otherwise.

It's also worth it. Some meals you're paying for the food, and some meals you're paying for the whole evening. This was the second kind.

Book ahead. Reservations at the hotel restaurants fill up, and the last thing you want is to have built your night around a dinner you can't get into. Lock in Paranza and Carna before you land.

Why the Third Trip Was My Favorite

There's something that happens when you stop trying to "do" a destination.

The first time you go somewhere, you're checking boxes. The second time, you're filling in what you missed. By the third time, you already know what the island is, so you can finally just be there. Sit by the water. Order the thing you already know is good. Take a long lunch and have no idea what time it is.

That's what this weekend was. No excursions, no schedule, no agenda beyond the next meal and the next pool chair.

If You're Planning Your Own Bahamas Weekend

A few things I'd tell a friend:

• Stay somewhere that can carry the whole trip. If you're not doing excursions, the resort is the vacation. Baha Mar absolutely holds up to that.

• Make your restaurant reservations in advance. Especially Paranza and Carna.

• Bring cash for the local spots. This is the number one thing people get wrong.

• Understand the beach chair pricing before you're standing there. $375 starting, applied toward consumption, cabanas separate.

• Don't sleep on the free stuff. The lobby party on Friday and Saturday.

• Leave the property at least once. The Fish Fry alone is worth it.

  
  

The Bahamas is a perfect little getaway. Close enough that a weekend actually makes sense, beautiful enough that you feel like you went somewhere, and easy enough that you come home rested instead of needing a vacation from your vacation.

Three trips in and I'm already thinking about the fourth.

Have you been to the Bahamas? Tell me where I should eat next time, because that's clearly the whole point for me now.